Miles of Movies

So, how this works…

Each movie is given a base rating on its watchability, because I believe watchability is the most important part of a movie and that it applies to every movie. This score is then used as the base score for which the movie can get additional points or deducted points. These points are based on technical aspects of the movie, such as whether or not the humor really worked, if the movie had a particularly memorable character, or an amazing scene that just stood out as really well done. Of course, most of these categories have their flipsides. For every movie where the jokes work there is a movie where the jokes don’t work at all. For every memorable character there is a completely forgettable character, etc etc. If a category does not have a flipside, it means that that category isn’t to be expected or that it is unfair to, for example, expect a movie to be moving and therefore to deduct points for when a movie isn’t moving. No. You get points if you’re moving and nothing happens if you aren’t moving. Max 10; min 0.

This technical rating is totalled up and then averaged with a rating I call my “overall impression”.

The overall impression is basically how well the movie works as a whole. It’s more of a short review of a movie than a tallying up of points. The average of the two scores is the grand total score that the movie earns.

 

Now, to explain each technical category.

Unwatchable 0: The movie was so bad you couldn’t finish it. Maybe 5% of movies get this rating. If a movie gets this rating, it automatically cannot earn any other points (negative or positive). Thanks to Superman IV: The Quest for Peace for this category.

Boring 2: The movie was really boring. This is pretty self-explanatory. Either whatever it is is uninteresting or it’s something interesting done in a really dull way. You may check your watch a lot in this type of movie, but at least certain parts of this weren’t too bad. Maybe 10% of movies get this rating. If a movie gets this rating it cannot get the subtraction “boring part”. Thanks to Bambi for this category.

Watchable 4: This isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s actually a little good. It means the movie was easy to watch, with maybe a watch check once or twice. Not bad, not great, but average. The more movies you see, the more fall into this category. Maybe 70% of movies get this rating. Thanks to Thor: The Dark World for this category.

Engaging 6: This rating used to be called entertaining, but I realized that a movie can be great but not be particularly entertaining (Schindler’s List). I think engaging is the best word for this category. It means the movie was really easy to watch, and if it paused randomly during the movie you’d probably be a little upset. This type of movie is what a movie should be. It should engage you and draw you in so that you want to find out what happens next or where the movie goes. Probably 15% of all movies get this rating. This means very good. Thanks to Casino Royale for this category.

Moving +1: Emotional. This category is almost the same as “touching” by the way. A movie doesn’t have to make you cry to get this addition. No flipside. Thanks to The Lion King for this category.

Thought-provoking +1: This just means that the movie made you contemplate. Not necessarily a “what if” type of contemplation but just made you really think about a certain topic. No flipside. Thanks to Inception for this category.

Suspenseful +1: This can be tough to pull off, as it is achieved through a combination of a good story, high stakes, music, and good characters. For that reason, I gave this a whole point. No flipside. Thanks to The Fugitive for this category.

Kids movie +1: Maybe this is a little controversial, but I’d like to think that I should go easier on kids movies because they don’t have to work super well for adults. Actually, when they do, it makes them just as impressive. This applies to any movie that is designed for kids OR designed for both kids and adults (Toy Story 3). I guess that means that this includes almost all animated movies and a few live-action movies as well. No flipside. Thanks to Snow White and the Seven Dwarves for this category.

An amazing scene +½ : One scene stood out that you will definitely remember as good. This is only a +½ because I think it’s less of an accomplishment. Also because I think that if every category was +/-1 there would be a lot of movies easily earning more than a 10 or less than a 0. If I give this out, I will specify the scene. No flipside. Thanks to The Lion King for this category.

Epic in scale +½ : This means that you can really feel the size of the movie or the stakes. This is a little like how ambitious the movie is. No flipside. Thanks to The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King for this category.

Really funny +½ : The jokes really worked and there were a lot of them. Thanks to Back to the Future for this category.

Amazing visuals +½ : Pretty simple. This is the same as “amazing animation” except for live-action films. As much as I understand that there are actually visual effects going on in animated films, this is the live-action category. Thanks to Avatar for this category.

Amazing cinematography +½ : The shots were really good. Excellent camerawork. Only applies to live-action movies (sorry How to Train Your Dragon!). No flipside. Thanks to Skyfall for this category.

Amazing story/plot +½ : I love me a good story. Thanks to Star Wars for this category.

Great performance/character +½ : A combination of performance and writing; this applies to a particularly memorable character in a movie. Can be supporting, or even a tiny role. Thanks to Tommy Lee Jones as Samuel Gerard in The Fugitive for this category.

Great music +½ : Music that works well as part of the movie. Definitely good if it works well outside of the movie as well. I really love movie music and have an ear for this. Thanks to How to Train Your Dragon for this category.

Great songs +½ : I suppose this only applies to musicals, but nonetheless, it’s important. Should be more than one though (sorry Lady and the Tramp!). Thanks to Beauty and the Beast for this category.

Amazing animation +½ : The “amazing visuals” of animation. Particular attention is given to amazing backgrounds and great expressions on the faces of the characters. Thanks to Pinocchio for this category.

Great writing +½ : This has to do with dialogue and not the story. There is already a category for the story. Thanks to Pulp Fiction for this category.

Bad message -1: This is quite a flaw. I don’t award good messages because I think if a movie has a message (and not all movies have them) it’s almost always going to be good; it’s when a message is bad that is particularly surprising and unfortunate. No flipside. Thanks to The Little Mermaid for this category.

Too long -1: This is a pretty serious issue that has to do with pacing, not runtime. In my opinion, pacing is the most important part of a movie because it is essential in having the story be engaging. If a movie is too long, it means that the story wasn’t meant to be stretched out as much as it did, or that the movie dwelled on certain issues too long. No flipside. Thanks to Gone With the Wind for this category.

Too short -1: It’s not a flipside to “too long” because they’re both bad. This happens when a story isn’t developed enough. Sometimes there are reasons for certain parts of a story not being expanded that often have to do with the actual length of the film. But sometimes parts aren’t developed that could’ve really added to the story. I think this is more common than “too long”. No flipside. Thanks to Chronicle for this category.

Overly predictable -1: This really takes away from the story, but is a tough category to define. A good way to put it is when what would normally be spoilers in the story are instead completely spoiled by the story itself. Imagine if the story to The Empire Strikes Back was screaming “Darth Vader is your father Luke!” Sure there are parts of the story that make more sense now that you know, but seriously, did you see that coming? No flipside. Thanks to Big Hero 6 for this category.

Terrible adaptation -1: I’ve barely read any of the books that these movies are adapted from. But for the ones I have read, I can give this subtraction to the movie. This category was introduced thanks to The Jungle Book. Good job! Now, this category doesn’t apply just because changes occur in the movie but rather if the movie defiles the source material (The Last Airbender). No flipside. Thanks to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire for this category.

Terrible writing -½ : The flipside of “great writing”. Only involves dialogue. Thanks to Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace for this category.

Poor animation -½ : The flipside of “amazing animation”. This is a tough subtraction to dish out to a movie because it’s rare to have bad animation. Still, when it happens it happens. Thanks to The Rescuers for this category.

Bad music -½ : The flipside of “great music”. Another rare subtraction but sometimes happens when a movie’s music really doesn’t fit the tone. Thanks to The Rescuers for this category.

Bad songs -½ : The flipside of “great songs”. Once again, rare, but can happen if the songs happen to be uninspired or poorly written. Thanks to The Rescuers for this category.

Obvious plothole -½ : The flipside of “amazing story/plot”. This occurs when the story isn’t good enough to make a viewer ignore a plothole. I think every movie has a plothole or two in it, but sometimes it doesn’t matter because a good story can make you overlook plotholes (Star Wars). It’s often the case that you begin to notice the plotholes only after you watch the movie and not during the movie. This category especially applies to the cases in which you see the plotholes during the movie. Thanks to Quantom of Solace for this category.

Bad performance/character -½ : The flipside of “great performance/character”. It’s usually given to a completely unnecessary character or a bad acting performance. Thanks to Owen Wilson as Gil in Midnight in Paris for this category.

Boring part -½ : If a watchable or engaging movie has a boring part. This has to be pretty boring too, the movie has to really slow down. No flipside. Thanks to The Aristocats for this category.

Sappy -½ : I suppose this is kind of a flipside to “moving” but not really. This is when a movie’s tone is invariably romantic or sentimental. No flipside. Thanks to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull for this category.

Overly gory -½ : Not just because it’s a war-movie; gory to be gory. No flipside. Thanks to Django Unchained for this category.

Unfunny -½ : The flipside to “really funny”. Not if a movie isn’t funny but rather if a movie tries to be funny and fails. Thanks to Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides for this category.

Overuse of effects -½ : The flipside to “amazing visuals”. This is not to say that the visuals are bad or dated but just that there are way too many of them. I think that’s a greater sin than if they’re bad. Thanks to Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones for this category.

Uneven tone -½ : If a movie doesn’t really know what it is. No flipside. Thanks to The Rescuers for this category.